ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
