I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So. Much. Porn.
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