I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize