it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
