i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
