It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
