Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize