That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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