Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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