it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
