She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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