Taylor Swift is so right about you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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