If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
