Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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