She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
