when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
