hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
