The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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