we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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