My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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