And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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