508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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