He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I forget how to act sober
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
