If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were trust falling into bushes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
