we have officially lost it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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