Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize