I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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