fuck your aforementioned shoe
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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