I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
