READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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