it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
