Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
did you just send me my own nude
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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