Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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