you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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