So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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