this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
