'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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