Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
