coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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