I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize