Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
