that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
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Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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