my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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