HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
