Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize