Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
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thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My life is pants optional.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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