Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
