can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
