we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize