somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
