and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You ate ashes out of my bong
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
