is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
