yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
