also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
