I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
