at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
