your thong is hanging out like whoa
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
