i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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