I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
