how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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