The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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